This is a letter for baby camgirls. It’s a letter I wish I could have written to myself when I was new.
Hey sexy BB,
I see you sitting there in front of your computer. You have planned all you can plan and done what you can to prepare and you’re about to switch the webcam on for the first time and dive into this new world headfirst. I need to tell you something very important first:
You will not turn on the cam and suddenly a magical transformation will come over you and you’ll have all the skills you need to be a good camgirl. Some of the skills you already have from other areas of your life will be put to good use but you’ll have to learn more. They won’t happen overnight. You will look around and see other women in this industry NAILING IT and you may think that you were supposed to start out that way to be successful.
You’ll see models who have great reputations, huge followings, great show ideas, rooms full of regulars every time they log on. They’ll be confident in their bodies, their voices and their camming style. They’ll know exactly how to keep tokens flowing and they’ll make great money.
You’ll see them with long standing relationships and friendships with other models. These women will seem to know their way effortlessly around all the in’s and out’s of camming. They’ll be wise to the scams, they’ll know exactly what to do to protect their safety. You’ll see them ban without hesitation, express their boundries confidently and juggle their complex relationships with members in ways that fit them. They won’t be afraid to say what they do to others but they won’t feel the need to advertise it either.
They’ll have connections with photographers, models, and other industry people. They’ll know what types of games, promotions and pricing works for them and they’ll be confident doing it. They’ll know how to promote themselves and where.
They will also have great collaborations with other models and they’ll already know exactly what paperwork they need to make sure they are working safely and within the law. They’ll be confident discussing these matters with other models and if they have conflicts they’ll handle them professionally and quietly.
They’ll know enough HTML and CSS to be able to code their own profiles or websites. They’ll know how to make a great gif, they’ll know how to edit in fancy programs. They have the right kinds of tech – computers, cam software, VPNs, Solid State Hard drives, etc. Their content will be consistent and on brand.
These models might go to adult conventions and they are just as confident in real life interactions with models and members as they are virtually. They’ll know all the little important tips and tricks to make these events work for them. They’ll have members from their room actually show up JUST TO SEE THEM.
They’ll know exactly how to save for taxes and they’ll be disciplined about it. They’ll have registered a business and do their own bookeeping, keeping careful track of all their deductions. They’ll track their income and be building passive income with content. They’ll have a consistent schedule and manage their to-do lists and they’ll never seem to bite off more than they can chew.
They’ll have a closet full of outfits they feel and look like a Goddess in, lighting that makes them into glowing sexy angels. They’ll know how to do their make up for the camera. They’ll know what toys are good for their bodies. They’ll be on top of their fitness and diet.
These incredible women will juggle work/life balance so they can do what they love and avoid burn out.
You’ll see them and your brain will play a trick on you. It will tell you, argue with you, that these women must have arrived like this. They opened a laptop, turned on a camera one day and instantly became camgirl-role model material.
BB listen, all of these things – Skills, self knowledge, industry knowledge, relationships – these are not switches that are set to either On or Off. They are skills that take time, practice and self compassion to grow. You will make mistakes that will make you want to turn the cam off forever and you will learn from them and they won’t end your career; They will make your career resilient. If you love camming and you want to BE like that model you admire, please stop beating yourself up because you’re not. Start growing instead. Give yourself plenty of fertilizer, water, sunlight.. and quit stomping all over the little seedlings. Let them grow.
Role models are there to help us envision where we’re going not to make us feel like crap because we are not there yet.
I can’t wait to see you grow, BB.