How To Express Boundries Using Positive Language & Why You Should

So why do I need to be positive in a list of rules anyway?

I’m not saying you should never express a negative thought or opinion. Being a human being is part of camming!

I am speaking about a specific style of writing that focuses on creating the results that you want to get rather than avoiding the ones you don’t want.

I want to say before I start that there are exceptions to EVERY ‘rule’ in camming. If the advice here doesn’t fit your brand or image as a cammodel that is OK! There are cammodels who have an image and personality that says you’re not taking any shit (many Dommes spring to mind) so take this advice and use it if it fits the way you cam.

Lets talk about language:

If the very first thing a member encounters is you talking about all the things you don’t want them to do it is not leaving a positive impression. Members may feel confused about what they should do. They may wonder if you’re really negative on cam or it could even make them defensive.

If I hand you a glass of  milk and say “DO NOT SPILL THIS!” your mind instantly is subconsciously picturing spilling the milk. Instead I could choose to say “Hold this glass carefully with both hands and keep the milk in the glass” and suddenly you have a very clear picture of what you’re supposed to be doing. This is a method they teach to people working with small children and it works on grown adults too.

So how do I post my rules then?

Sometimes I see profiles, websites or social media content that reads as nothing more than a very long list of “Don’t ever do this” rules. After reading a little member’s  eyes glaze over. Does this mean we can’t express clear boundaries? Nope. Of course you should be crystal clear about what is acceptable behavior and your expectations. And there may indeed be situations where you do need to say a big fat “NO WAY. STOP THAT” to something. But make it count. Balance your “Don’t do this” language with wording that says “Do this!”

There may also be situations where it would be too long or confusing to explain. Taking the time to explain all the names you are ok with being called instead of simply saying “Don’t call me BB” would be an easy example of this. So there are exceptions to this process!


I created two example profiles using the Profile Builder to illustrate what I mean.

Both of these profiles express their rules and boundaries clearly. In the BEFORE picture even if we take out the swearing, it’s still a long list of don’t do this, don’t do that.

In the AFTER picture the rules are saying essentially the exact same thing but she’s reframed nearly everything in a way that lets people know what behavior is expected. There is also some general “about me” information placed first, before hitting them with a list of expectations. Notice that second writing example also included one very clear “DON’T” and ask yourself if it was more impactful in the positive profile or the negative one? What kind of model do you think each girl is? Who would YOU want to spend your time & tokens with?




I hope that my thoughts on this were helpful for you! I would love to hear from you guys in the comments or on Twitter etc about your thoughts on this. Do you find it hard to write with affirmative language? Do you think it even matters? Does anyone even read profiles anyway (lol)? As always the thoughts I expressed here are my personal opinions based on my time and experiences as a cam model. On some sites profile writing is much less important but you may still need to express your rules or expectations in the chat room and this concept can apply there also.



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